Sierra is now available with a BRAND NEW COVER!
The manuscript also underwent a light edit.
I also added a "Two Years Later" epilogue.
And it's FREE on Tuesday, June 10 thru Saturday, June 14!!
Grab your copy here.
I've previously published the epilogue on my blog, and I'll publish it again right now!
NOTE: At one time, Sierra was a
165,000 word monstrosity of a novel. In order to prepare it for publication in
2012, the manuscript underwent a brutal editing. Due to word count, I made the
decision to leave out the original “Two Years Later” epilogue.
The friends and family who had
read my early version commented that they missed the epilogue. Then a few
readers stated that they felt the novel ended abruptly.
In 2014 I revisited Sierra in
order to make a few edits and decided to include the missing epilogue. The
story just didn’t feel right without it—and once you’ve read a 100,000 word
novel, what’s 5,000 more words? If you’ve invested that much time into a novel,
you deserve an epilogue!
So, be excited, here is the “missing epilogue” and you are about to enjoy a little
glimpse into Alex and Alyssa’s life, the way it was always meant to be . . .
-Two Years Later-
ALYSSA SAT ON the porch
watching Clay and little Alex play in their fenced-in front yard. They were
best buddies and had a great time together. Clay played the part of the big
brother, always watching out for Alex in a way that was very endearing. Seeing
Clay now, you would never know the trauma he’d suffered in his young life. He’d
just started kindergarten and was flourishing before her very eyes.
The heavily wooded area
they lived in was breathtakingly beautiful and reminded her of her time at the
cabin. In the end, they’d chosen to settle in Oregon. They chose a small town
just outside of Portland. Alex wanted to be as far away
from Connecticut as possible. They didn’t want to settle in the
Sierra Nevada Mountains either. Except for her time at the cabin, that area
held too many bad memories for Alyssa.
A long tree lined driveway
took them to their home, which was situated in a small clearing. The area gave
them the feeling they were back at the cabin. In fact they chose to have built
a huge, sprawling two story cabin made of dark redwood, with a wrap-around
porch. It was gorgeous and they loved it. The dark wood of the cabin and the
vibrant green scenery surrounding them complimented each other. She teased
Alex, “I told you I only wanted you for your cabin. Guess I got what I wanted.”
Alex teased back that he got
what he wanted too.
Her.
Alyssa had thought the
cabin to be too big, but Alex winked at her and said they would just have to
fill it. She was working on it. She was seven months along with their second
child, biologically. Alex had adopted Clay and you’d never know he wasn’t his
child. Alex treated him as his own and she loved him for it. Clay did begin to
ask questions about his father. He had vague memories of him, although he had
no memory of the shooting, thank goodness. Alyssa told him the most basic story
possible of what had happened to his father, leaving out the details of what
had happened specifically to Clay himself. As he got older he would eventually
know the entire sordid story. The gory details could wait until he was old
enough to handle them.
Once little Alex had
been born, Alex had insisted she have the corrective surgery. Keeping his
promise, they didn’t spend a night apart. For the few nights she had to stay in
the hospital he slept in the chair next to her bed and never left her side. He
pampered her through it and played Mr. Mom to the children. He was absolutely
exhausted at the end of each day and said he had a new respect for mothers. But
she knew he also loved every minute. He refused to hire anyone to help him. He
wanted to do it all himself. After the recovery and never ending rehabilitation
exercises, Alex whisked her away. Teresa volunteered to watch the children and
they trusted her implicitly.
She remembered his words to
her, “Alyssa, I’m taking you away for a week. Choose your destination, anywhere
in the world, name the place. I love our children, but I want some time alone
with my wife. Where do you want to go?”
She didn’t have to think
about it. “The cabin.”
“I love you for wanting to
go to the cabin, but no, absolutely not. I want to take you someplace where we
can stay in a five-star hotel. Some place luxurious, where we can feel pampered
and call room service when we’re hungry. And furthermore I want a bathroom with
running water and all of the amenities . . .”
And so it went.
“Alex,” she said, interrupting his tirade. “I’ve told
you before and I’ll say it again, I love a man who owns his own outhouse.”
He kissed her until she
gave in and chose a place. It took her a long time to decide. Finally, she
said, “Hawaii. I’ve never been.”
And off they went to Hawaii
for a week. Just like that. She’d forgotten who she was traveling with, but she
was quickly reminded when they traveled first class, and when they arrived at
their hotel and instead of the small hotel room she’d been picturing in her
mind, they were in a suite bigger than most people’s homes.
“Get used to it,” he told
her with a wink.
She did.
He absolutely doted on her
the entire week. She’d never felt so pampered in her life. They spent their
days lounging by the pool or lazing on the shore of the ocean. They spent their
nights enjoying romantic candlelight dinners, long walks along the beach, and
making love as if they were honeymooners. It was a magical week and they left
with a new bond between them, even stronger than before.
The results: another baby
on the way.
Alex drove up then, and
Alyssa’s reverie faded. He climbed out of his soft top jeep, wearing jeans with
a dress shirt and tie. He looked extremely handsome in his sunglasses, with
windblown hair. Alyssa still couldn’t believe this man was her husband. The
boys ran to their father for hugs and he twirled them each around in the air. It
warmed her heart to see him with his children. He was a doting father; she’d
always known he would be. Alex approached as Alyssa’s eyes followed him.
“Hello, handsome.”
“Hello, gorgeous.”
He kissed her softly and
then kissed her tummy and said, “Hello, baby girl.” Alex was visibly moved when
they found out they were having a girl. He could hardly wait to meet her. “How
are we today?”
“We are fine.
If I could just get this heel out of my ribcage, I’d be even better.”
Alex laughed and joined her
on the porch swing as they watched the boys play happily in the yard. Alex
worked at the local medical clinic part time. He enjoyed his time there and
they were glad to have him. He loved being back in the medical field.
Alex hired a cook and a
housekeeper to take the load off Alyssa. At first she objected, but now she was
glad. It was enough for her to take care of their boys and get Clay to and from
school each day. Alex put his arm around her and she rested her head on his
shoulder. He laid his other hand on her stomach and felt the baby moving inside
of her, something which brought him endless joy. He often teased that she just
looked like she had a basketball hidden under her shirt. Alyssa, however, felt
huge—and was pretty sure a beach ball was hidden under there.
They had dinner together,
bathed the boys, read them a bedtime story and put them to bed. It was their
nightly ritual and unless Alex was called in for an emergency, they always did
it together. They settled themselves in front of the roaring fire on the two recliners
that flanked the stone fireplace and sat down to enjoy a peaceful evening
together. They were both quietly reading when the phone rang. Alex answered it.
≈
“HELLO, KENDRICK
RESIDENCE.”
“Hello, is this the home of
Alex and Alyssa Kendrick?”
The voice on the phone was
elderly. Surely this wasn’t a telemarketer. “Yes it is. How may I help you?”
“I am sorry to disturb you,
sir. This may not be a phone call that you would like to take, but I politely
ask that you hear me out. My name is Kendall Browning. I am the father of Allan
Browning. Do you know that name?”
Alex knew he’d heard that
name somewhere before. “It’s familiar to me. I’m sorry, you’ll have to refresh
my memory.”
“I believe you and your
wife knew him only as Adam.”
Alex looked up at Alyssa
with surprise. She immediately comprehended the unbelieving expression on his
face.
“Alex, what is it?” she
asked with worry.
“Sir, are you there?” Mr.
Browning prompted.
“Just what is it you want?”
Alex hissed, unable to keep up any pretense of politeness.
“I’m so sorry. I know the
mention of his name must bring back painful memories. I do not want to cause
you or your wife any pain. My wife and I are in Oregon visiting her
nephew. The last time we saw our Allan was when he was four years old. You and
your wife were the last ones to see him alive. We would so much love to talk to
you. There are so many things we would like to know. There’s only so much the
police can tell us. We hardly know anything about him. May we come and talk to
you?”
The heartfelt plea touched
Alex. The man sounded quite elderly and as if he was in ill health. He spoke
clearly and distinctly, but slowly. Alex understood their desire to know more
about the son that was so cruelly taken from them. But he had to put the well
being of his wife and child first. “Hold on a minute, please.” He held Alyssa’s
gaze for a moment before speaking. He didn’t want this to upset her in any way.
“Is something wrong, Alex?”
“It’s the parents of Allan
Browning on the phone; Adam’s parents.” Alyssa’s eyes widened. “They’d like to
speak to us. They want to know more about their son.”
Alex didn’t wait for a
response from Alyssa. The sudden sickly pallor of her skin was quite enough.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Browning. My wife is expecting and I’m afraid this may prove to
be more than she can handle right now. Perhaps another time . . .”
“Alex, wait,” Alyssa said
to him, a pleading note in her voice.
Alex covered the receiver
with his hand, his disturbed gaze settling upon her. “Alyssa, I don’t think
it’s a good idea. You don’t need to relive it all again.”
“It’s their son, Alex. He
was taken away when he was only four years old. I feel for them. They may not
like what I have to say, but I think they deserve to know what happened to
their son. In their position, I would want to know too.” She swallowed,
obviously not feeling quite as confident as her words. “It’s okay. I’ll speak
with them. Tell them yes.”
“You don’t have to do this.
You owe them nothing.”
“I know. But the ‘not
knowing’ must be driving them crazy. As long as you’re with me, I’ll be fine.”
Against his better
judgment, he agreed. “Mr. Browning, my wife has agreed to see you. Please
understand that if it’s too much for her, the conversation will end abruptly .
. . yes, that will be fine, see you tomorrow at noon.”
Alex exchanged a worried
glance with Alyssa.
“What should we tell them,
Alex?”
“The truth . . . their son
was a monster.”
≈
THE NEXT DAY at noon they
impatiently awaited their visitors. Clay was at school and little Alex was down
for a nap. Alyssa was surprised, however, when instead of one car, three cars
pulled up. Several people filed into their living room. An elderly couple
identified themselves as Mr. and Mrs. Browning. They were sweet and ever so
polite. Mr. Browning handled the introductions.
“Hope you don’t mind, we
brought the family with us. It’s just that they’ve all missed Allan so much and
would so like to hear of him. This is our eldest son, Jacob, and his wife,
Marie.”
Jacob nodded at them.
“The two little girls with
him are his daughters, our granddaughters, Mary and Abby. And then next to him
is our middle child, Annette, and her husband, Jack.”
Annette held a sleeping
baby in her arms and smiled at them.
“Then our youngest, David.
He was fourteen when Allan was taken from us. I’m afraid that Allan was a bit
of a surprise. We didn’t think we would be blessed with another child. David
brought his wife with him, Ellen.”
Ellen was pregnant and held
her stomach proudly.
“The rest of the gang
decided to stay at the hotel. You know teenagers, they’d rather swim in the
pool. But none of them knew Allan.”
Alyssa felt herself turn
cold as she stood transfixed. Adam’s older brother, David, could’ve been his
twin. It was like looking at an older Adam, cleaned up and dressed decently,
teeth fixed, hair cut and neatly combed. Instinctively, she took a step back
and Alex wrapped his arms around her protectively.
≈
ALEX COULD SEE the uncanny
resemblance between David and Adam. It was as if a resurrected Adam stood
before them once again, in their living room no less. He had to resist the urge
to hide Alyssa behind him. He actually found himself thinking about where his
gun was located and how quickly he could get to it.
David stood casually and
held his wife’s shoulders as she stood in front of him. Ellen reached up and
held one of his hands, smiling sweetly.
Both he and Alyssa were
completely speechless for at least a full minute. The need to defend and
protect boiled in his blood. The urge to take a few steps forward and deck the
guy felt so strong, his hands actually formed into fists.
After a few deep breaths
and several moments of dead silence, Alex recovered.
It wasn’t Adam; of course
it wasn’t.
“Please have a seat,” Alex
told them politely and introduced himself and Alyssa. She still seemed somewhat
shell shocked. Alex sat next to her on the couch and held her hand. She grasped
his hand tightly—her fingers turning white—and sat very, very close to him. It
was obvious the sight of David had thrown her for a loop.
≈
ALYSSA WAS TAKEN aback at
the sight of Adam’s family. Especially David. She somehow expected them to be
awful, like him, which she realized was a foolish thought. Still, she didn’t
expect to see such nice and wonderful people all staring at her hopefully. They
were a normal, happy family. Her eyes rested on David again. She could hardly
look at him without feeling the urge to run and never stop. The only thing
keeping her in place was Alex. All of his protective instincts had kicked in at
the sight of David. Alyssa liked the way he’d immediately wrapped his arms
around her as if shielding her from the enemy.
“I’m back, mountain man.
Me and hur have sum unfinished business.”
Adam’s words echoed in her
mind. She’d never shake the awful memory. But, thanks to Alex, she’d been able
to move on. Now that she’d had time to recover from the shock of seeing Adam’s
double, she couldn’t help but study him a little more closely. This was how
Adam would have turned out had he not been taken from his family at the tender
age of four. Without Pa’s demoralizing and atrocious upbringing, he would have
been normal—a sobering thought. Alex gave her hand a squeeze and she realized
she was wringing his hand. “Sorry,” she whispered. One glance and she knew he
was thinking the same things as her. She held her stomach with one hand
protectively and Alex cast her a concerned look. The thought of Adam saying he
would cut her baby out of her filled her with paralyzing fear, yet adrenaline
coursed through her as if her body knew she needed to take action quickly. She
half expected David to brandish a knife at any moment. “Hello, Eve.
I’ve come back fur ya.” Surely this was a trick. Adam hadn’t really
died—this was his way of getting into their home—he would attack at any
moment.
Alyssa shook her head,
dislodging crazy thoughts. It wasn’t Adam. She knew that. She should’ve
listened to Alex. He was right. This wasn’t the time for her to meet with Adam’s
family.
Too late now.
“We don’t want to take much
of your time, Mr. and Mrs. Kendrick. We do not want this to be upsetting to you
either. As I told you last night on the phone, we know so little about Allan.
He was the sweetest little boy. Being the baby of the family, we all doted on
him. Why, he was the apple of our eye; the joy of our hearts. A day hasn’t gone
by that we haven’t thought of him and hoped whoever had him was taking good
care of him. The police have informed us of Allan’s crimes. We know he was
involved in your abduction, Mrs. Kendrick. But there’s so much we don’t know.
The man who took him doesn’t sound like a very nice man. Was he a father to
him? Did he love him? We so want to know what our precious son was like. Was he
a good young man? Was he happy? You are the person who last saw him alive and
we hoped you could tell us a little about him, perhaps help us feel some
closure.”
All eyes were concentrated
on her as they stared expectantly. She’d spent the most time with Adam and
perhaps they felt she knew his character better than anyone else.
They were right.
Alyssa felt floored. She
had planned to tell them the ugly truth about Adam, but now the words stuck in
her throat. She cast a sideways peek towards Alex, silently pleading for help.
He looked as speechless as she did. How could they tell this wonderful family
what their son had become? It would break their hearts and destroy them. Adam’s
frail mother already had tears pouring down her face and Alyssa feared she
might collapse at any moment. Her heart went out to her.
“He was a faithful young
man,” Alex said to them, breaking the silence. “He was obviously being
controlled by the man he called Pa. He loved him. He did everything his father
told him to do. Unfortunately, Pa was not a nice man. He made him do things
that I’m sure he didn’t want to do; things I’m sure he never would’ve done of
his own accord.”
That was good. Alex had
twisted his words into positive statements. It was her turn now though.
Everyone was waiting for her to speak. Following Alex’s lead, Alyssa said
slowly, “He was the kinder of the two of them. He was very loyal to Pa. He
should . . . he should be commended for his loyalty.”
A wave of nausea washed
over her. Alyssa couldn’t do it. She couldn’t sit here and say nice things
about Adam.
But when she looked into
their sweet, expectant faces, she knew she would. What harm would it do to give
these people some peace of mind, some closure, concerning their long, lost son?
His crimes were not theirs. Her mind searched for ways to say kind things about
Adam, even though it went against the grain. It was hard to think of Adam as a
victim, even though he’d been one as much as she had.
“H-he very much wanted to
have a wife and children of his own—especially sons.” She thought of his
unwanted advances and how he always spoke of their wedding night. The memory of
him telling her he would drown any female babies would always haunt her. “He
must’ve had some distant memory of his own family and knew it was what he
wanted,” she added.
Adam’s mother let out a sob
that seemed overly loud in the excruciating silence.
Alyssa swallowed hard and
pressed forward. “He watched over me when Pa was cruel.” She thought of him
watching as Pa kicked her in the gut and then warning her to not make Pa mad.
She suppressed a shudder.
The father nodded as if
pleased with his son’s actions. Adam would’ve been a decent human being had he
been raised by these wonderful people.
“He made sure I . . . had
enough food.” To this day, the sight of beef jerky still turned her stomach.
Alyssa’s mind landed on the moment Adam offered to share his beans with her and
how she had refused to eat off the same spoon. For a second, she thought she
might be sick. Alex disentangled his right hand, replacing it with his left
hand, and rubbed her back reassuringly. His fingers gently ran through her hair
and she absorbed the calm, peaceful feeling only he could impart.
Nearly all of the family
members now had tears in their eyes and wiped at their faces. Keep going,
Alyssa. You can do this.
“You okay, Alyssa?” Alex
asked.
“Yes,” she told him. Having
Alex at her side gave her the strength to go on.
“And he made sure I
didn’t . . . trip as we walked in the mountains.” Alyssa’s hand automatically
ran over her neckline as she relived the feel of Adam tugging on her leash,
forcing her to stay upright. Alyssa tried to smile at them, but knew it came
out more as a grimace. She trailed off, knowing there was nothing more she
could say.
“We understand that he died
at your cabin, Mr. Kendrick. We were told he returned there.”
“Yes,” Alyssa added,
answering the question. “He thought that Alex had kidnapped me. He came to see
if I was still there and . . . to . . . to see if I was okay.” She thought of
Adam roughly tying the leash on her. His words echoed in her mind, “I’ve
come back fur ya, Eve.”Alyssa avoided looking at David, not once glancing
his way. She didn’t trust herself enough. Already she could feel her limbs
tingling from the early effects of hyperventilation.
“He w-was worried about
me.” She thought of him yelling at Alex, “You stole my woman.” It
was a truly horrifying moment.
They were waiting for her
to say more, to give them some type of answer as to how he had died.
“Unbeknownst to him, the
police had followed. H-he got caught in the crossfire.” She remembered the
words Alex had said as he ended his life. Damn you to hell. It’d
been a fight to the death and she knew in her heart that Adam had deserved to
die.
She smiled another smile at
them, knowing only Alex knew how strained, how fake the smile was. “There isn’t
really more I can tell you than that. He believed that the man called Pa was
his father and he followed him loyally. He really can’t be blamed for that, now
can he?”
Mr. Browning patted his
wife on the back. “See now, Mother, he never forgot the teachings he learned at
your knee.”
Mrs. Browning dabbed at her
eyes with her handkerchief. “Is it true that . . . that . . .” Adam’s grieving
mother couldn’t finish her question.
Alyssa wondered if they
could see right through their statements and knew they were slanting their
story in Adam’s favor. More than likely they could read between the lines. At
the same time, they wanted so much to believe there was still some good left in
their son, they eagerly grasped at the crumbs she was tossing their way.
“What my wife wants to know
is, well, what we would all like to know is—is it true that Mr. Abernathy and
Allan killed your husband and son in cold blood?”
Alyssa felt as though she
was made of stone. How do I answer that? Her mind refused to
go back to that moment. It was just too much. The intense feelings that
accompanied the memory had the power to leave her breathless. “Pa is the one
who actually shot them.” Alyssa unwillingly thought of Adam yelling at Pa to do
it, egging him on as if he’d enjoyed it. “Adam . . . I mean, Allan, kept his
arms around me when it happened.” She hoped that sounded as if he had been
comforting her. She’d never forget the feel of the cold, hard steel of the
knife at her neck. She couldn’t help but shiver. “My son lived through it.” She
was sure they thought the shiver was brought on by the thought that her son
lived; a shiver of relief.
“And we understand that
you, Mr. Kendrick, ended Mr. Abernathy’s life?”
They obviously had not been
told that Alex had also ended their son’s life. She wasn’t about to enlighten
them.
“He was holding us at
gunpoint. When I saw the chance I took it. Ad . . . Allan was injured in the .
. . scuffle, but he escaped into the night.”
“Thank you for saving Allan
from that man.”
≈
ALEX COULDN’T WRAP his mind
around the twisted thought. It was too preposterous to consider.
“I’m sorry,” Alex
interrupted. “I really don’t want my wife to relive this experience any longer.
I think she needs to take a rest now.”
As they stood Alex felt Alyssa
wrap her arm through his tightly. She stood closely to him, her body pressed
against his as if she was glued to his side. He could feel the tension
emanating from her.
“Mr. Kendrick, may I ask
one more thing?” Mr. Browning said hesitantly.
“Of course.”
“Isn’t it true that if it
weren’t for this abduction, the two of you would not have met?”
Alex let out his breath. He
had a point, but it wasn’t something Alex wanted to examine too closely. “Yes,
that’s true.”
“Well, it would seem that
something good came out of it then. The two of you seem to be very happy
together.”
Alex looked at Alyssa and
she held his gaze.
“Thank you. We are very
happy together,” he replied. Alex thought of the first time he saw Alyssa and
the condition she’d been in. It still sent a chill up his spine even now.
“Well, I hope this has
helped in some way. But may I offer some advice? Try to remember him as the
sweet little four year old boy that you knew and loved. To do otherwise will
only cause you pain and heartache.”
With tears in their eyes
and several expressions of gratitude, they left. Alex closed the door behind
them and leaned heavily against it. He took several deep breaths. He turned to
Alyssa who watched him with wide eyes. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes. I couldn’t tell them
the truth. I just couldn’t do that to them.” She held her stomach protectively.
“I didn’t exactly lie.”
“Only we know how up for
interpretation those statements were. You did the right thing.”
“It was a lot harder than I
thought. I wasn’t expecting them to be so . . . normal.”
He walked over to her and
placed his forehead on hers. They shared a small smile that expressed great
relief.
“You handled it well.” He
took her into his arms and kissed her softly.
Alyssa relaxed in his
embrace. “I’m sorry. You were right, it wasn’t the time for me to talk to them.
I’m not sure there could ever be a right time though.”
“I trust you. I knew it was
something you felt you had to do, that it was important. I know I’m
overprotective when it comes to you,” Alex said as their lips met again in a
soft caress.
“I wouldn’t have it any
other way,” Alyssa said quietly. “I’ll always feel safe with you by my side.
I’m sorry I held onto you so tightly.”
“I loved it.” He’d always
loved the feeling of Alyssa clinging to him.
“David . . . when I saw him
. . . I wanted to run . . . I . . .”
“Shhhh, I know, I know.” He
gently ran his fingers through her hair the way she loved. “I want you to take
a nap, de-stress. I don’t want anything upsetting you right now. I’ll look
after Alex when he wakes up and pick up Clay at school.”
“That’ll be a couple of
hours from now, Mr. Kendrick. Why don’t you join me?” she said with a raise of
her eyebrows and then added seriously, “I don’t want to be alone right now.
Actually, I don’t want to be away from you. And I really don’t feel
much like sleeping.”
“In the middle of the
afternoon? How very scandalous . . .” he said, loving this woman more than he
thought possible.
“What will the housekeeper
think?” she said with a mischievous smile.
Alex kissed her and said,
“She’ll think we’re in love.”
Alyssa held his face in her
hands. “I guess our secret is out.”
Alex whispered to her,
“Just between you and me, I think she already suspects something.” He pressed a
tender kiss to her lips.
They smiled at each other
and hand in hand, slowly climbed the stairs.
