MONDAY MUSINGS

Two words describe this weekend:

SICK and EDITING!

(and this does not mean I'm sick of editing!)

I caught some sort of flu-like virus. Misery.

And I'm still knee-deep in editing I'M WITH YOU.

Let me explain.

Last weekend we helped our daughter move to a new home.

This gave me the opportunity to discuss I'M WITH YOU with her.

We talk on the phone ALL THE TIME, but a face-to-face talk is so much better.

She finally admitted to me that she just can't finish reading I'M WITH YOU.

You see, I'M WITH YOU includes my daughter's Trisomy 18 story. (Note: Her Trisomy 18 story, not the story of her marriage.)

She made it just past the Trisomy 18 reveal scene and it was just too emotional for her.

I understand completely.

It was extremely important to me to have her blessing with the publication of this book.

She has given it to me.

If she wasn't okay with it, I would not publish it.

So, as we were having our little heart-to-heart, she asked me to tell her the rest of the story since she will not be finishing the book.

I told her the ending and I also expressed how much I was struggling with it.

Would my characters behave this way? Were they making logical choices?

Even at this late date, I wasn't completely happy with the ending.

As it turned out, my daughter had the answers for me.

She's experienced Trisomy 18 and she understands the complicated and sometimes contradictory emotions of child loss.

She told me exactly how she would respond in the given situation.

And suddenly, I knew exactly how the story should end. Everything now makes sense.

It may not be how you or I would react to the given situation, but it is how a woman who has endured child loss would behave.

Hence, I am rewriting the ending.

I'M WITH YOU is a romance novel that includes a Trisomy 18 story.

While it deals with baby loss grief, there are several lighthearted scenes to counteract the dark scenes.

The novel focuses on the burgeoning romance. The entire book is not a downer. In many ways, the romance overrides the story and the baby loss is the secondary story.

Still, my daughter expressed difficulty in hearing about another woman's grief concerning child loss.

It's hard to hear someone else's grief when you're still dealing with your own.

The writing of this book has helped me to feel as though my grandson will never be forgotten.

Not  a day goes by that I don't think of him. 

This was my way of remembering him.

I held him in my arms and I'll never be the same after experiencing those precious thirty minutes. I rocked him as one would rock a baby, even though he was gone. It wasn't horrific, it was sacred.

This has been the hardest book I've ever written.

The subject matter is tender and sensitive and it did not come easy.

My other readers thus far have not expressed the same emotions as my daughter. Naturally, it is difficult to read about your own story through a fictional character's eyes.

In the end, I hope this book leaves the reader with a better understanding of how women who have endured child loss feel.

The emotions are varied and contradictory.

(My daughter says, "I contradict myself all the time, and I need everyone to be okay with that." Sometimes she wants to talk about her baby and sometimes she doesn't.)

I also hope readers will have enjoyed a heartfelt romance about finding the person who will stand by your side no matter what happens in life.

That being said, let's switch gears and end on an up note. 

Here's my dream cast for

I'M WITH YOU!

Chloe

Mark

Jack

Taryn

Back to editing for me!

Have a great Monday everyone!