Hello everyone! Happy Monday!
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I would like to start a discussion about an issue today. I'm really interested in your thoughts on this matter.
I received a wonderful three star review of Chasing Fireflies a while back. I know, only three stars? How could it possibly be wonderful? The review was a very positive and complimentary review. The reader had two complaints however. The second of which I would like to discuss today.
Please read the below thoughts of the reviewer:
The second problem is one a lot of chaste romances are guilty of and that's the missing faith problem. We have two contemporary American adults who have an intense and intimate relationship and yet neither even thinks about having sex (and this one has the further problem with missing alcohol, probably as a result of Dean's Mormon background). I'm sorry, but contemporary American culture assumes that couples have had sex by the time they are engaged. That's the very longest you can leave it without it coming off as strange and even unnatural to the core audience of your romance. If your characters are talking marriage, they're thinking sex. And not having it has to have a reason or it feels strange. And the thing is, I know a lot of readers who don't care how authors meet the cultural expectation so long as it makes sense. Many read romances for the emotional catharsis rather than the explicit sex, so chaste romances that have religious characters putting off the sexy times for marriage isn't an issue. But it breaks the sense of reality when contemporary characters don't have a reason and still don't have the sex. Many of these authors are religious and may not be aware of how unnatural their stories come across. I hate that otherwise talented authors like Taylor Dean are limiting their audience so unnecessarily by cutting out the religion of their characters when the scars of its removal are so obvious. Please, include the religion, or figure a way around the issue of sex. Leaving it completely unaddressed is strange and off-putting and it doesn't need to be.
So, I would love to know your opinion on this matter. When you read a clean romance, do you like this subject to be addressed? Does it need to be a religious reason? Do you prefer it to not be mentioned at all? Do readers assume the characters are moral when they know they are reading a clean romance, and therefore it doesn't need to be addressed?
I have addressed this issue in a few of my books. I didn't include religious reasons necessarily. Most of my characters decide to wait for marriage because they feel intimacy is sacred and I leave it at that. While my books have inspirational elements, they are not strictly inspirational and I don't want preachy elements. I've handled it differently in each one of my books. In some, I like the way it was handled and in others, I worried it came across as awkward.
In Chasing Fireflies, I really didn't address the issue, but I also felt their relationship escalated quickly and it didn't need to be addressed in that particular book.
At any rate, I would appreciate your thoughts on the matter. As I'm writing my new series, I have been thinking about this matter quite a bit.
Thanks in advance!
This might sound jumbled, but I'm just writing my thoughts as they come.
ReplyDeleteNot all inspirational romances contain a lot of religion though there is usually at least one character who is a picture of faith. When a character is struggling, they bring up the subject of faith and grace.
There are also instances in Christian novels that address the issue of their "wild" pasts. And it is silly to assume either way: that all non Christians have sex before marriage and that all Christians wait because we know that it's not true. It's also naive to assume that this is a 21st century issue only. People have been having sex outside of marriage for thousands of years. And romance novels have not always had sex and still don't.
Have you read Melissa Tagg? Her books are Inspy Fic but they're not at all preachy in my opinion. I'm trying to think of more authors and instances, so I'll write more if I think of them.
I'm pretty sure Debbie MacComber books don't have sex either.
Oh wow, I wasn't expecting the responses I've received thus far, but I am extremely thankful for everyone's input. I knew it would be best to just ask my readers and I'm pleased with what everyone is saying. My thoughts were leaning in the general direction of what has been said so far, but I really wanted to know what readers were thinking on this issue. I love the points you made, Christy. I have not read Melissa Tagg, but I will look up her books.
DeleteBTW, when I first became romance novel obsessed, I read Harlequin Romance (the actual Harlequin Romance line--they were sweet romance for the most part back then) novels, like one a day for a couple of years!! Even back then, Debbie Macomber novels stood out from the crowd. This was back when she was just starting out. Her books were refreshing compared to the rest, and I don't remember them having any sex scenes in them. But they still gave me a good romance fix!
At any rate, thank you so much for your thoughts. Much appreciated!
You're welcome! I remember reading tons of Regency Romance...I wish I could remember the author...when I was a tween and teen and they were clean. My mom and grandma read them too!
DeleteThis is hard to know what to do. I don't believe everyone is that immoral--even if they aren't religious. But TV makes the nation as a whole believe everyone is having sex with everyone they meet. There are tons of health reasons to be chaste before marriage, so I don't quite agree to the level of that reviewer that 'everyone' is thinking of and having sex if they aren't religious. But I do agree a religious background does make it more likely the characters are going to wait until marriage for that aspect of their relationship. I think it's okay--and even good--to have your characters be like the people you know. So that reviewer knows 'different' people than you...so what? Should you cater to her tastes instead of your own? Your characters are like the people I know--not just my religious friends. And we're supposed to write what we know. So if there are readers out there who think they know it all--they're wrong. They obviously are hanging out with a certain type of people--just like we are--and maybe it's good for us to see that there are both sides. I believe there are lots of people out there who think sex is sacred and shouldn't be given to every Tom, Dick and Harry they meet. I think we need to be true to ourselves as writers, and if you want your characters to have that moral background--like TONS of people did even 50 years ago--then don't apologize or fear writing about them. Maybe the world needs to know that not EVERYONE is like Hollywood depicts in movies and TV.
ReplyDeleteYou make some excellent points, Charissa. I believe TV gives us, in many cases, a warped sense of reality. Then we begin to believe this is how everyone lives, and that is just not the case.
DeleteI also agree that the majority of people don't take sex lightly. I won't change how I write my characters. They will always be people who wait for marriage. But I do wonder about having discussion about it in every single book I write. I've read so many lately that simply don't address it and it doesn't come off as weird to me. Although I see what the reviewer is saying and I can see how it might come off as strange to some readers. But I do advertise myself as writing clean romance, so I feel like it should be expected. Of course, then I get the opposite comments that don't think I write clean romance!!!! Sigh. You're right, just stay true to myself and I can't go wrong. Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me concerning this!
Although I understand where this reader is coming from, I think they are missing the fact that this is a CLEAN romance. Which means the reader should be aware going in that there will be very little to zero sex scenes. If they are wanting more of a sexual relationship between character then perhaps clean romances are not for them. You can write a very well developed story without involving explicit behavior, and I think you do that very well.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing I think gets lost when writing a contemporary story in today's world, is that it is fiction. It is not meant to reflect anyone's life or their behaviors, because if it did it wouldn't be fiction. These are made up characters from your mind.
I used to work at a small bed and breakfast, where we catered more to couples and one amenity that we offered was free DVD rentals. Our owener was LDS and so he didn't provide any R rated movies. We had so many people complain about this but because of his standards he didn't feel comfortable (I don't know if that's the right word to use...) having those available in the office. So I think it shouldn't matter if other people complain about not writing sex scenes, if you don't feel comfortable with premarital sex then don't include it in your books.
This reminds me of the chorus of a Ricky Nelson song, Garden Party. "You can't please everyone so you got to please yourself".
Those are my thoughts.....
And I love your thoughts, Jana! It's so true that authors are writing FICTION, an escape, meant for enjoyment. Then reviewers sometimes comment that it was not real to life!! It wasn't meant to be real to life! It's fiction! I've never understood that mind set. It is so much FUN to write and not worry about it being "real life." I mean, without going ridiculously crazy.
DeleteI also agree that if this is how the reader feels then, in truth, clean romance is probably not for them. The term clean romance should say it all!
I really, really appreciate your thoughts on the matter. Personally, I think a discussion about it would have been odd in Chasing Fireflies. It just didn't feel needed in that book. They get married rather quickly and I felt like that said it all. I do address the issue in some of my other books.
You're right, I have to stick to what I'm comfortable with and I don't want to write explicit sex scenes. I always think of For Nick when I say that!! When I wrote it I really felt that as long as there were no details, then it was clean. I've come to realize that it was a little too much for some clean romance readers. But trying to please everyone will not work!
It's really nice to hear what my readers think about this. Thanks so much!! And I LOVE the Ricky Nelson song quote.
I agree with everyone else's comments. I don't think the issue needs to be addressed at all in clean romance and, in some cases, would indeed come off as just awkward. I want to add a huge thank you for writing great romance while keeping it clean! There is no shortage of books for people to read that have explicit sex scenes so it's nice to know which authors I can trust to not go down that path. I'm always excited to hear you have a new book coming out, so I hope you keep writing for a long, long time!
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you for such sweet words, Melanie. You really did bring a huge smile to my face as I read your comment. Thank you, thank you. It was just what I needed to hear.
DeleteYou just put into words the conclusion I was coming to: if it's clean romance, it should be expected that the characters won't go down that road and there need not be discussion or religious reasons as to why not. That makes sense to me. Thanks for your opinion on the matter. It's helpful to know what everyone else thinks about this, in particular the readers who like my books. Good to know everyone else doesn't think this way!! Thanks again!